It’s bad, not illegal

Heard

Expectation kills, but obsession murders.

-Hellishqueen

My best friend had promised me to take me to an art festival.I love arts, artifacts and that place is fabulously famous. I haven’t been there before so I was very excited to go. I had early morning lecture and so I woke up early in the morning even before the dawn. Took all my makeup stuff in the bag, my pink dress, notebook etc. I ran directly to my gym. I reached even before it was opened. After my gym session, I changed my clothes and rushed towards the railway station.
Then, as I opened my bag to find something to eat, it occurred to me that I forgot my lunchbox and box of fruits at home in a hurry. I did my makeup on the train, (yes it was awkward, but I had to due to a shortage of time). Ready to fiddle through my day, I met my friend and she said, she can’t come with me because she has to go meet her boyfriend. Even she had just met him a day before, I don’t know what was so urgent.
I didn’t have any problem, of course. But, what hurt me was her priority was him even though I had accompanied her whenever she had asked me to even if I was busy. I mean, this may sound childish to you all, but I am a kind of possessive person, not a crazy. I can understand. Since it was the last day of the festival. She just didn’t care how much I wanted to go to the fest. And, I was so angry and upset. I didn’t wait for a second after the lecture, not even to say her a goodbye. I wasted my whole day thinking the kind of priority she was to me. But, now I can’t be the same person to her. I just cannot get this out of my mind. I don’t care to go to the festival. I only care the way she treated me. She wasn’t even sorry for it. I think, now on she’ll see how cruel I can be when I change my priority.

Rolling stone

Marathon

Rolling like a stone
I was changed into something I was not
You’ve murdered a part of me I miss
The girl who always believed.
Believed in you
When you changed me into new
I felt so refreshed
Thought you’re the special
I have waited so long.
The sadness took over
When I saw your comment on a post
You had written for some other girl
“I waited for you”
At last but not least
The story has a happy ending
When you tried talking to me
And, I ignored
As you are just a bad memory.

 

Remembering the past

picsart_12-28-03-59-11Retrospective

I hate to look back and also to remember stuff that was so disturbing or unwanted. But, my blog is the one place where I love to look in the past and the words I wrote spontaneously. I never knew, remembering the past would be so adorable.

My blog is just new, It hasn’t been one year. But, I am in love with my experience. I enjoy making friends who are same like me. They understand my writings, feelings and are also encouraging. I am would be glad if I would have been the same for them. I learned a lot and the changes that came over in less than one year is incredible. I always wanted to write my feelings, my ideas, and my pain if there has been in any situation.But, there wasn’t any platform to depict the words inside me jumping to come out of my head to my fingers, and from my fingers to my blog. The most important thing I didn’t know was the change a writing can bring in one person. The only disadvantage is that all my blogger friends are on my laptop and I don’t get to interact with them in person which would be an awesome thing even if I imagine. download (1).png

The above is the word cloud which is in a mixed format so maybe it won’t make any sense. Still, I can proudly say I have written over this topics and also converted into a feeling.

I am feeling grateful to the viewers of my blog. They have given me an incredible response. And, even though if you didn’t like some post feel free to comment. I would like to improve myself. Love you all !!! It is all because of your support that I have made this far. I am proudly stating that the most liked and viewed tags and categories on my blog is POEMS. I am glad you all liked it.

The most famous posts from my blog are: 

1] Talk to my hand

https://hellishqueen.wordpress.com/2016/12/18/talk-to-my-hand-2/

This is the story of a girl (Mary) who was abandoned by her boyfriend because he was actually in love with another unknown girl and wasn’t disclosing this to Mary. The story concentrates how Mary overcame her mourning period. Sometimes, kindness doesn’t work.

2]My-my-mystical

https://hellishqueen.wordpress.com/2016/12/11/my-my-mystical/

The poem concentrates on a girl who moves on from the breakup and realizes she is actually so mystical.

3] When we get lost 

https://hellishqueen.wordpress.com/2016/10/06/when-we-get-lost/

This is a quote. It concentrates on an issue of hanging on the love which we think we deserve but don’t get like having a crush on special one. That is why we can get into depression and stress, which eventually leads to suicide. So we should also try to meet other people who actually love us rather than thinking about the person who doesn’t care for us.

4] People nowadays

https://hellishqueen.wordpress.com/2016/09/26/people-now-a-days/

This quote is highly famous from my blog and I got an overwhelming response for this. I won’t write anything on this. Maybe you should have a look 🙂

5] Pretend to be okay

https://hellishqueen.wordpress.com/2016/09/25/pretend-to-be-okay/

People loved this quote a lot. Thank you again all of you.

6] The facts about poets

https://hellishqueen.wordpress.com/2016/08/28/the-fact-about-poets/

This is the most viewed article of all time. Maybe you should also see the fact. I hope you’ll love it too.

I hope you will love other posts from my blog. Thanks for reading.

Poem for this year: 

Read more you’ll know

Write so others can know 

Make an exception so you can prove

Forget all the pain

And, this will be your best move!!!

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Calm Caterpillar

Calm

Caterpillar wanted to fly.
So she waited in the leaves,
under the monsoon sky.
She slept for days,
covered in her round shell of skin.
So calm and quiet in the forest,
she loved the water sound,
draining from the black clouds.
What else could be so lovely?
Her life was full of jolly
like the way she always wanted,
to suck nectar from the flower sources.
The day arrived when she turned in a beauty
Designer wings and shiny coloring.
Tearing the shell she was covered in,
Made a break free like a magical fairy.
Their lifespan is only of a year
Yet, she always makes us cheer.

Horror enthusiastic

Enthusiasm

I cannot sleep

I feel scary maybe

All the horror phantom comes in my mind

From the movies, I like to see.

It’s not a big deal in a daylight

Afterward, it creeps me tight.

The dangerous masks and sins

Take over my mind.

I am a horror enthusiastic

To learn what they are!

I am not passionate to see someone die.

I hope this creature don’t exist

This is all just a fantasy

To rule over people’s life.

Not relaxing

Relax

I will stay here forever

Not for you to follow me.

The things you did

I can’t move ahead

So there isn’t anything

To see more clearly.

I am here guessing

To find the reason

Why I can’t relaxing….!!!

 

I know you must be laughing

On me when I cry ‘ Stay, stay, stay!’

Am taking sleeping pills

To seek a point of deep relaxing….!!!

Talk to my hand

Moody

It was 3 Pm, Marie was at work and texted I love you, John.

The message was delivered and so she was staring at the screen for John to read the message and reply her back in his romantic tone of message and smileys. It was 2 minute that Marie was running out of patience and decided to call him. But, she remembered her last call to John ended up with disappointment. Marie called John frequently to talk about her day, making plans, her experiment which she does in the lab. John seemed uninterested in her topics. She also tried being romantic but it was of no use to bring the John behave like happy old days. She just didn’t know the reason behind his strange behavior. So she kept the phone down back in the drawer. Nothing can stop her from messaging her to John when she misses him so much, and this was that time. Rather than listening to his harsh tone and in hesitation. She started typing that there’s a new restaurant in downtown and they should definitely try it in evening. She pressed send option. Then again she remembered that John did not like paying bills. So she also texted him that she would be paying the bills.

It wasn’t like John was the unsuccessful person, he was one of the best business analysts. It was months John had taken Marie out for a date and Marie thought this would be the reason because he said it her once that he don’t like paying bills so cannot go out for dinner.

What kind of a boyfriend does that?

She was nervous and happy to go out with him. She was waiting eagerly at the bus stop for him. When she saw him coming. Smiling.

Ah, everything’s fine

That evening, no matter how hard Marie tried being romantic, John just dropped the topic. Eventually, Marie didn’t want to spoil the evening and so went along with his side of talks. He didn’t even wait to spend time with her. Just left.

Marie saw him going. Sadly.

Weeks passed by, Marie didn’t receive any messages from him. So it was clear like pure rain water or mirror that could reflect light or black surface that could absorb whole heat that John has lost interest in her.

She just didn’t know what to do, how to bring him back!

All efforts to ignore his behavior or getting along with his loss of interest thing and forgetting about him were in vain.

She just loved him so much!

One night when Marie was watching TV with her family with John dominating her mind, her phone blinked as a message is received. She checked it and a wide smile spread on her face. It was John. They talked about movies, music, work and etc for hours through messages.

Then, Marie send him a text asking what his problem was!

It was almost an hour in the argument that John denied telling her anything. That was when she quit! Stopped asking him and thought to behave as their breakup never minded her. She was enjoying her life more than she was with John.

Some weeks later:

Marie started hearing rumors about a girl who John was dating. This was a sudden shock right to her nerves, but she pretended to be as cool as ice on her head would be. Something was cracking and shouting inside her that still, she is struggling her feelings for John, he has set out with another girl so soon like she mattered nothing to him from the start and all his romance was fake, on the outside, she was smooth as a music.

She prayed for all the rumors to be fake. To her horror, one day she finds out she was absolutely wrong.

Then she realized that John was actually in love with this another girl and this was the reason he denied telling her why he was a changed man to Marie. Why he cannot be a normal boyfriend and love her like she wanted him to do. All her trust in love and magnificent hope for getting back in life as she was before vanished. The person whom she loved most, did everything for his happiness never ever bothered about her feelings.

All she could think about was I can never be in love with someone. But, I’ll never spare this man for hurting me, for not taking care of me, leaving me to rot in my mourning period.

—-xxx—-

Marie had become a successful researcher. It was cold evening when she was walking back home from work and on her way she saw couples holding hands, hugging under a shade of the tree where no one can see them. Now she found it very creepy. She can never think about this ever, also she hated her old self when she gave more importance to others than herself which was the main reason for her low confidence.

Later that evening she posted a photo on Instagram with her colleagues having waffles at a famous snacks store just opened in her city. John was one of her followers to like it. Well, she was obviously not following him back.

Her mobile blinked a text as she was going to bed. It was John.

You look beautiful in the photo. The number was not saved in her phone, but she could see his display photo and figured out it was him.

The very nice thing that she did was to delete that freak’s message and went to sleep calmly.

Moral: The only thing that Marie wanted was to be kind and not to lose her anger and friendship to John, she thought it might be easy to stay friends. But, the more she stayed in his environment the more she was disappointed. Maybe Marie was too weak and emotional to move on and when you are too weak, just let the person go on his way and stop being kind to them. Behave the way they did to you. Make them realize that they are also unimportant for you as you are to them. In short, being kind is not an option for all situation, there has to be some roughness in you to handle such circumstances.

My-my-mystical

Mystical

Living right
Even not with you
Totally bright
Away from your dark flu
And I say, go with the sail
Like it floats on a water up-down
To reach its route
I am just my-my-mystical
I feel so electrical
By the way, I am going
It feels so great…..!!!

I must have cried
I thought I died
From within, a lot of times
Only for you.
Only for you.

But then, I found
I am my-my-mystical
I feel so electrical
This is my reflection
The way we’ll be in connection
So go on, hate me
After all, I am more……….
My-my-mystical
Also, electrical
Way more, mystical.